And the Adventure Keeps Getting Better

I finally started orienting on nightshift. I was a lot more alert and the nurses were more my age. My new preceptor gave me a run for my money. We will call her Kelly. She was very intelligent and knew her sh%!. Which can sometimes be intimidating. The good thing was, I was great at asking questions if I didn't know the answer to something. Dumb or not, always ask. She was a great preceptor, but over time I became more ready to just be on my own. I was tired of having someone watch every move I made. A lot of orientation was monotonous paperwork, quizzes and checkoffs. If I wasn't busy, we would work on paperwork...that was annoying. I'd sit down and she'd pull out this my big yellow file and we'd go over what i'd learned. I WILL NOT miss that part. Towards the end of nightshift orientation, for the first time I was more than ready to be on my own. I was scared, but ready. 

My whole orientation on days and nights was fair. They give the new nurses the most critical and challenging babies. I had a few but what I found really challenging were the NAS (Neonatal Abstinence Sydrome) babies. NAS is something you can't understand unless you work with a baby who is withdrawing. Imagine a situation where you have a patient whose mother did all types of drugs during her pregnancy. You've got heroin, crack to name a few but the most frequent addiction is to opiates. These babies are inconsolable, they have high pitched cries that will shatter glass, they shake uncontrollably, vomit, diarrhea and can die if weaned too fast. So not only do you deal with this baby who is almost helpless, but you may have another baby to take care of. Then there is the mother...I've found that I cannot be naive when it comes to these mom's. Most of them talk a great game, give a sob story about how they didn't know the drug would affect their baby or they just took one pill. Then on the other hand will get frustrated with the nursing staff when they realize their baby could be in the hospital for a month at the least or they don't want them to have the morphine to help the baby wean. This can be very stressful for nurses because we have to try and not be judgmental but there are a thousand things you want to say to the mother who did this to her baby. 

The Newest NICU Nurse on The Unit

I was lucky enough to land a job before I graduated. I got a job in a level 3 NICU at a very busy hospital right in the heart of downtown. I was eager to start and make the big bucks or so I thought...nurses don't make crap for the work we do, but that's a whole other blog post! In school, I'd never thought about working with babies but in reality it's actually a great fit for me and my personality.  I call it my "blessing in disguise." I love working with the sick and very critical preemies. It really makes me feel that I'm saving lives everyday I go to work. But let's get back to the good stuff. So, I started orienting on dayshift with a preceptor, let's just call her Diana. I've never been a dayshifter or an early riser. I hated waking up at 0500 and going to work. I was tired for the full 6 weeks of orientation. Dayshift tired is a different kind of tired. It makes me sick and I want to vomit sometimes. My position that I was hired for was nightshift so I just had to get through that 6 weeks and I'd be good, or so I thought.

My first day on orientation was extremely overwhelming. They don't have a NICU class in nursing school. I was trying to remember everything I could from my PEDS and OB class, but that was semesters behind me. In the NICU, you learn as you go and pray to God that you preceptor is great! Diana was upfront and honest with me. One of the first things she said to me was, "I'm not a morning person so if I don't say anything to you, don't take it personal." I said, "I'm the same way." It takes me a few hours to warm up to the day on dayshift, so I knew how she felt. From then on, we grew to an understanding of each other. She was a great preceptor and I've never seen such a neat and tidy incubator in my life! She was so meticulous. The cords have to be this way, the blanket needs to be straight, baby facing that way, no spots of blood, poop or pee anywhere. God forbid the lab person got a drop of blood on the blanket. This was something that I adopted after I was finished orienting. I love a neat and organized bed! The incubator is like your workplace in the office. It's your desk. I can work better when my area is neat and organized. It's also visually appealing for the parents when they look at their baby. They are already intimidated by how delicate and small their baby is, then you hook it up to wires and a ventilator...the least you can do is make your bed nice.

Dayshift is pretty different than nightshift. Most of the nurses were older and welcoming, others were standoffish. I expected that. There is this myth of "Nurses Eat Their Young." I didn't feel this way but being the youngest nurse on dayshift I felt so small and incapable. I dreaded the day when I would be on my own. It's amazing how little you know when you start, but how much you grow in one year. Not only as a nurse but as a person. I've always been the quiet, shy type. I never want to step on toes or cause conflict but nursing will make you grow a pair REAL QUICK, especially in the NICU.

The Long Overdue Blog Post

I don't know why I didn't write about my new career as a nurse a long time ago. A lot of people say they know what you go through, but few fail to actually understand what it's like as a new nurse. There are so many different transitions to go through during the first year...even the second and tenth years. As a nursing student, you really have no idea. A student is safe under the wings of her teachers and clinical instructors. They are there to make sure you make no mistakes, leaving you with a comforting feeling. Let me just tell you, all that goes out the window when you are on your own. You have your own license and your mistakes are your own. A lot of nursing students don't see the reality until they really get out there in the trenches. On our own, for real. You could lose your license or even worse, kill someone in a split second of an incorrect med calculation. The school part of nursing is stressful in itself, then when you graduate, you get to experience real world stress in all it's raw beauty. In a typical workday you will go from comforting the family members of a dying patient and then go home to your life to deal with your own personal issues. You will carry a lot of weight on your shoulders as a nurse on the job and outside of the job. These are just some of the many things they don't teach you in nursing school. When you land your first job, jump in and hold on for dear life. You will deal with the worst of people and co-workers all the way to lasting friendships and the most endearing patients and families you will ever meet. Welcome to the roller coaster ride of being a new nurse. Everyday on the job is a learned lesson.